Luke Teaford's Choose Your Own Adventure Blog

“The comedy blog with swearing!”

Journey through a world of Midwestern bohemians and adult situations as Luke Teaford, an artist and writer living in Dayton. Meet the woman of his dreams, his friends from film school, and numerous Dickensian apparitions along the path to success. Experience the laughter and turmoil as you discover why our hero was once called “the angriest man in paisley.” *

* Schellenberger, David. Personal insult. 2007.
Luke laughing maniacally
Episode #35 | Published February 4, 2014

You identify your impostor

Your impostor lying in a pool of blood

“Do you recognize the man in the photograph?” the police officer asks. He dangles a photo in front of your face. You push away in order to focus on the photograph. Your eyes fix on the man in question, and you feel your stomach turn. Your pulse quickens. Your tail puffs out. With trembling voice…
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Previous Adventures

  1. Warily, you slink through the bookstore in tears
  2. You hitch a ride home
  3. You will no longer need your BBQ apron
  4. You must graduate college without the aid of an adviser
  5. You get an anxious phone call from a friend in need
  6. Out of work, you hit the streets looking for fast cash
  7. Anxiously, you read a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore
  8. You follow your muse instead of running from the police
  9. You wake to find that your hair has been dyed blue
  10. Your neighbors become a source of consternation
  11. You attend a family barbecue
  12. You return to the pet store prepared to buy a dog
  13. Your car will not start and your anger will not stop
  14. You take your final exam in Geology 107
  15. You attend an art show
  16. You arrive in South Carolina
  17. You learn a harsh lesson about primary colors
  18. You hit rock bottom
  19. You compromise your integrity to be “liked” on Facebook
  20. You fancy a career as a substitute teacher
  21. You go to a magic show
  22. At last, you are recognized
  23. You exact revenge on the Alumni Association
  24. You seek your grandfather’s advice
  25. You enjoy a life of luxury and conspicuous consumption
  26. You announce your retirement from comedy
  27. You hear a rapping at your chamber door
  28. You update your blog live from the county library
  29. You make one lousy milf joke and Google thinks you’re a pornographer
  30. You are taken aboard the mothership
  31. You are interrogated by your alien captors
  32. Safely aboard the mothership, you write your novel
  33. Back on Earth, your impostor consoles David
  34. You mourn the loss of a friend
  35. You identify your impostor