Published May 28, 2010

Your neighbors become a source of consternation

Your old neighbor spraying a hose
Your neighbor intermittently spraying nothing in particular

You are not well rested, and too many weird things have been happening lately. Whoever dyed your hair blue is on the loose, and in the background you’re still trying to graduate college even though it means suffering through frightfully dull geology classes. Never one to step down from half-assing a general education course, you wake up bright and early and hit the books. You condense nine weeks of Geology lessons into a cram session. Since you’re capable of differentiating between a confined aquifer and an unconfined aquifer, you’re not left with a lot to study. Just in case, you continue studying until you have a eureka moment. Inspired, you write in your notebook a universal geology mnemonic: everything is oppressively literal.

There is a blast of water against rock. You can practically hear the aptly named runoff doing its thing. Then it occurs to you that you are not so absorbed in studying that it is coming to life. It is your neighbors, spraying nothing in particular with a hose in ten-minute intervals all day long as usual.

You decide to: