Published May 28, 2010

You wake to find that your hair has been dyed blue

Your hair has been dyed blue
Your hair has been dyed blue

You writhe around in your bed, trying to cast off the tightly wrapped blankets and leap into action. Your alarm is ringing much too soon, and you didn’t sleep well last night. Seeking shelter from the rain, you tumbled into a cellar full of riches. You ran out and tried to warn everyone about hearing loss, but they wouldn’t listen to you. You were high above the ground in an expansive tree eating its fruit as some of your friends played in an orchestra beneath you. These are just a few of the many dreams that kept waking you up throughout the night.

While you brush your teeth, you are chagrined to notice that your hair has been dyed blue. At first, you think that you’re still dreaming, but soon you give up hope when your hair turns up blue even in photographs.

“Dammit, I hate blue,” you mutter to yourself, dismayed and chagrined. You realize it might be time to go to the police about all of these strange events and hair colors.

You decide to: