Published November 3, 2011

You make one lousy milf joke and Google thinks you’re a pornographer

Google crawls your website for smut
Google crawls your website for smut

After searching through your Google Analytics data for a couple hours and putting together some stupid PowerPoint Presentations, you find some interesting data. Long periods of inactivity lead to decreased visitors, foul language has no impact on readership, and almost no one is using any version of Internet Explorer to read your blog. Apart from geeky things like that, you notice your website’s ads were removed in conjunction with a milf joke you made back in February. Following that, you’ve also had an increase in searches for sexual terms too hot to publish (for free).

The page in question is the single most popular post you’ve ever written, and you feel a sense of accomplishment. Sure, it’s not like you’re curing cancer by growing a moustache or anything, but it is a small contribution to the collective happiness of the English speaking world. On the other hand, you become upset to think of all the folks you’ve disappointed. Those guys who searched through perhaps millions of Google search results to get to your humble milf hunter joke? You let them down big time. You shed the first of many tears in the process of crying yourself to sleep.

You decide to: