Published October 26, 2010

You fancy a career as a substitute teacher

You can practically see your name on the blackboard
You can practically see your name on the blackboard

You kick your feet up on your desk and stroke your chin in a manner indicative of deep thought. You wipe away a very small amount of coughed up blood and think, “I would make a great substitute teacher. I could serve my community and inspire the next generation.”

You rush to your local school district’s website and see that they are hiring substitute teachers. There is even the potential to be a long-term substitute. And $60 a day seems like a pretty sweet gig to you after months of unemployment. You fill out your application and attach your résumé. On the very last page of the application, you notice that the school district requires that you take a tuberculosis test. In retrospect, it probably wasn’t a great idea to get involved at the Museum of Old-Timey Diseases, but as they say hindsight’s always 20/20. You have to be real with yourself, though, and you must admit that being tested for TB is anathema for a hypochondriac such as yourself.

You decide to: