Published October 25, 2010

You compromise your integrity to be “liked” on Facebook

You implore your friends to like your blog
You implore your friends to like your blog

You start the morning off normally (thinking through elaborate publicity stunts and their possible consequences) until you are interrupted by a small gecko running through your apartment. After ten, or perhaps forty minutes of chasing the lizard, you give up and go back to your morning routine. Sipping your coffee and studying for the GRE, you suddenly realize you can boost your popularity with those damn Facebook “Like” buttons you see everywhere these days, but to do so would violate your Professional Web Designer error-free source code.

“Ah the hell with it!” you say, slapping poorly designed, awkwardly written Facebook code into your blog. There is a knock at the fourth wall and you faint.

When you come to your senses, you are working on improving your chip shot. You take your 9 iron and lower it to the ball. You look to your golf coach who is giving you a thumbs up. You close your eyes and remember what he taught you: that for every foot in the air, the ball will roll two feet on the ground. You do some mental math.

When you come to your senses for real, you are deep in another GRE practice test. Most of these questions are about which is a bigger number, but it’s usually not that straightforward. Sometimes you’ll be given a letter, a fraction, and a metaphor about a man driving for thirty minutes at two different speeds. You finish the practice test with a lousy score of 710 on the math section.

“I’ll never make it into grad school,” you pout.

You decide to: