Published June 4, 2010

You attend an art show

Before the Temple in Rhinestones
Before the Temple in Rhinestones

With no hope of going to South Carolina to see Emily until tomorrow morning, you hang around Dayton and go to an art show downtown. You have tentative plans to hang out with your friends and to memorialize the late Dennis Hopper, so the evening is full with the promise of Pabst Blue Ribbon, Lynch’s Blue Velvet, and Ian’s blue language. Yes, it is a Friday night like any other.

The art show is on Third Street, and parking is often scarce. Tonight, however, you’re in luck because there is a sandwich sign in the church parking lot that reads ART PARKING.

“Art parking, eh?” you think to yourself, “Some very challenging pieces in here. Particularly, the green van is almost Dada-esque, or postmodern in its daring originality.” You go inside to greet Ian and Becky, and you try this joke out on them. It is mildly received at best.

Biel shows up moments later, cracks open a can of PBR, and makes a frightfully similar joke about the art parking. It is clear that you and Biel are tapped into the same comedy gods, and it’s everyone else who is wrong about the value of this joke. You record the joke in your notebook in the hopes that it will be appreciated by a future generation.

After examining all of the art and filling up on cookies, you take a final gaze at Ian’s piece as it sparkles in the light of the setting sun. These are the fruits of Ian’s spiritual journey, and the pattern is familiar to anyone who knows where to find anything good on the Internet. Then, for no reason, Ian dons a mullet much to Becky’s chagrin.

Blinded, confused, and inexplicably enthusiastic, you make your way to your car as the show comes to a close.

You decide to: